where am i from again
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
