am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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