Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
handjob tips. give me some.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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