I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
