508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
