she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
