About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
