people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
