i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
