Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
honey bunches of taint.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
