How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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