my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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