I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
