weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I could fuck to npr.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
