I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
