My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
