I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
