It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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