I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
