you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
