Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
