It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
