WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
