see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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