is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
