you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
