ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
