You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
