Your face is a jimmy john
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
