His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
How's work?
Spinning.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
