Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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