I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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