i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
