community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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