He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
