but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
