They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
