His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
