Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dicks are not precious.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
