Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
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