apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
