...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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