Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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