how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
