You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
