i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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