he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
