so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
