Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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