so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Slut skills are useful in every country.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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