Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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