So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
